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February 08 2018


February 07 2018


I keep seeing my *friends* do stuff without me and even though I know it’s not really my fault and maybe I even should be used to it, I’m still hurt they don’t invite me/make plans with me then do the thing with someone else/make no effort to stay in touch/add whatever action results in me feeling left out.

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Out of all the things I’ve received at pride parades, as a Christian, this one is my favorite.

I’m an atheist but this is sweet for all my struggling Christian followers

i’m also an atheist but this is… actually really comforting? wowza?

My favorite has to be the red sheep.

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Fitness related news
















I’ve lost 4 lbs since my last weight in last Wednesday :)

I only lost 1lb this week but honestly I ate like shit and worked out once.

Hello hello -3 lbs this week! My nutrition wasn’t amazing and, again, I worked out once lmao but I’m pretty happy with the results :)

-1 lb this week :) 39 lbs to go

-2 lbs this week! Very proud of myself :)

So I took the last 3 weeks off from my usual diet and yesterday the scale said I gained 6 lbs but zero fucks were given because I had the time of my life with my absolutely incredible boyfriend! But out of curiosity (I guess) I weighed in again today and they’re all gone lmao, I’m back at the same weight I was before :)

I’ll try to stay as consistent as possible with my nutrition and workouts, and will be updating every Wednesday (although today it’s a Monday) to stay accountable.

I gained a pound but idec :)

I lost two lbs this week with not that much effort. It always makes me think how much faster I’d be reaching my goal if I actually put in work 100% of the time. Either way I’m happy with how this week’s been fitness/nutrition wise.

I gained them back. This was probably my most successful week as far as my workouts but I ate like shit this weekend. I’m super sore and bloated. And sad about the outcome.

Aaand they’re gone again. -2lbs this week. But it doesn’t count because I’ve been super sick and my nutrition and workouts were shit.

I gained 1lb this week. I’ve been eating like shit and I barely managed to complete 1 workout. I really need to start being honest about what I’m eating and also be more accepting of the fact that I may have to stop lifting and find other ways to stay active because my body can’t handle it and I’ve been pressuring myself to achieve a certain type of body (which I can’t achieve without lifting tbh) so I need to take a deep breath and make peace with that.

Bruh bruh bruh I lost 4 entire lbs this week and I’m SO HAPPY. I got super serious about my nutrition although I didn’t workout much because of life and stuff but holy shiiit!! I’m so happy I made progress :) NOW OFF TO EAT ALL THE FOOD BECAUSE I DESERVE THAT SHIT and also thanks to my boyfriend for making sure I take my medicine and eat all my meals and drink all my water :)

So this week I gained 2lbs but I’m not really worried about it because

1) weight fluctuation is normal

2) no one gains 2lbs in a week

3) I’ve been so bloated I look 7 months pregnant

4) my workouts and nutrition were impeccable all week so this is probably just liquid retention

5) I feel great

So until next week with another update to this incredibly long post :)

So today 11/20/2017 I visited my nutritionist and since I started seeing her about 4 months ago I’ve lost a total of 12,5 lbs, which are 100% FAT.

Oh yeah, and the weight gain I was kinda bummed out about… IT’S TWO ENTIRE POUNDS OF MUSCLE I gained just this past month.

So what I’m trying to say is that I’m not gonna be updating this post every week anymore, only when I see my nutritionist, because she has all the cool accurate machine thingys and I’ve been blocking myself from seeing all my progress.

Fuck the scale my dudes, fuck the scale

The last 4-5 weeks have been really hard. The fibromyalgia has been acting up and I’ve had crisis after crisis after crisis. I’ve probably spent 75% of the time in bed with a lot of pain. I haven’t eaten healthy at all, and I couldn’t manage to workout either. I still lost around 3 lbs of fat and lost very little muscle so I’m happy about that. I’ll start treatment with a new pain medicine, and I’m seeing a psychiatrist on Friday, which I’ve been avoiding for years now, but it’s time to get help and take charge of my health :) I’ll stay positive and do my best to eat better and stay active.

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February 06 2018




whats better than this

im laughing so fucking hard my mom just texted me telling me to shut up



I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.

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i dream of waking up warm in your arms without a care in the world

February 05 2018


February 04 2018

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*goes from depressed to overwhelmingly anxious to affectionate to angry to suicidal to neutral in a grand total of 0.2 seconds* life is beautiful

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